Call Me Call Me
by Lelu
Summary: Usagi has finally seen through Mamoru's seemingly unpenetrable walls, and he's less than pleased about this revelation...at first.


3/31/01  
  
"Call Me Call Me"  
By: Lelu  
Leluh16@yahoo.com  
PG  
  
[Disclaimers: "Call Me Call Me" is a song from Cowboy   
Bebop. Characters used in the story are copyright Naoko   
Takeuchi.]  
  
  
~ I close my eyes and I keep seeing things   
Rainbow waterfalls   
Sunny liquid dreams ~  
  
Usagi sat by the phone, nervously brushing back strands   
of silver-blonde hair.  
  
'Mamoru…'  
  
She buried her head in her hands, bangs pushing upwards   
and falling over her arms. Slowly, the tears began to build   
in her eyes, as they had so many times before in this   
single day. She bit her full bottom lip, leaning slightly   
against the wall of her room. Lifting her head, she looked   
from her blurred vision at the rose that lay upon the   
pillow on her bed.  
  
'I wish…'  
  
Her lips quivered again, and once more she sought refuge   
in her own arms…and in the back of her mind, playing in   
front of her own eyes, she watched like a mysterious third   
party as the day's events began to run like a film…until   
she fell asleep, tired, confused, and angry at the man she   
loved.  
  
~ Confusion creeps inside me raining doubt   
Gotta get to you   
But I don't know how ~  
  
Black bangs fell forward, slightly covering dark blue   
eyes. His gaze fell on the phone once or twice, but   
quickly, he focused on the opposite side of his room.   
Then, he lifted his hands…and glared at them.   
  
'Usagi…'  
  
He felt so guilty inside; he felt guilty everywhere.   
Reaching into his shirt pocket, he pulled out a little slip of   
paper. In Usagi's handwriting was her number- the   
number he was to call if he ever felt…like how he was   
feeling now.  
  
Lightning crackled overhead, and Tokyo's sky was gray   
and black, unyielding to the rain that began to fall.  
  
Beads of sweat began to form on his forehead.   
  
~ Call me call me   
Let me know it's all right ~  
  
'You have to call her,' his mind whispered. 'She doesn't   
deserve to be treated like how you did this morning…'   
And slowly, his memory replayed the horrible event.  
  
**   
  
~ Call me call me   
Don't you think it's 'bout time ~  
  
"You…you beast!" she spat out at him, hands shaking   
with the anger that she felt for the tall aloof figure in front   
of her. "How dare you…How dare you embarrass me like   
that in front of 'nii-san!"  
  
His eyes slightly narrowed at the warmth in her voice   
when she had mentioned Motoki. Casually, he leaned   
against a tree in the park, watching the wind weave in and   
out of her hair, blonde wisps of silk flying gently in the   
breeze.  
  
"I can't forgive you, you know, Mamoru-san," Usagi said   
slowly when he hadn't said anything. "Not after…"  
  
His back went straight at her sentence and shivers of   
foreboding ran down his spine. Sharply, haltingly, he said,   
"You can't forgive me…" Laughing, a sound that died in   
his throat, he whispered menacingly, "That's not possible   
for you, Usagi." He began to circle her, his pants making   
a soft swishing noise as he continued to walk. He came to   
a halt right in front of her, grabbing her chin to force her   
to look up at him.  
  
She winced; his grip was not as gentle as she would have   
imagined it to be…as she had imagined it to be.  
  
~ Please won't you call and ease my mind  
Reasons for me to find you, peace of mind ~  
  
"I know your type," he said forcefully, blue eyes   
narrowed into slits so small that it was nearly impossible   
to see the iris. "You're the happy-go-lucky type of person,   
always genki no matter what. Even if you fail a test,   
which you have done so many times, you don't care!" He   
forcefully let go of her chin, and she stepped back a few   
paces, suddenly afraid. "So excuse me," Mamoru   
continued, "if I don't believe you when you say that you   
won't forgive me. You're incapable of that, Usagi. As you   
are of so many other things," he added mercilessly.   
  
She continued to walk backwards, her fear building in her   
chest until it completely overtook the love she felt for   
him.  
  
"Backing away so soon?" he taunted.   
  
She stopped walking and spoke so quietly that the words   
barely reached his ears. "I know *your* type, Mamoru-  
san." She lifted her eyes, which were blurring with tears.   
"You are the cynical man. You are the one who has no   
hope for life; in fact, you probably would have ended it   
long before now, except there is something that entered   
your life that kept you alive, and continues to keep you   
alive."  
  
She began to walk towards him, watching every emotion   
that played across his hard face.  
  
"I offered to be friends with you, Mamoru, do you   
remember that?" A wry smile played across her lips as   
she tilted her head. "I offered to be many things with you,   
for you, but every time, you pushed me away with some   
harsh comment or with some comment that you knew I   
wouldn't like." Her gaze fell to her hands which were   
clasped together in front of her blue-pleated skirt. "But   
slowly, I began to realize why…why you wouldn't want   
someone like me as a friend." The muscles in her throat   
jerked violently, and that slight movement did not escape   
Mamoru's glare. "It's because…"   
  
She lifted her face and the anguish that she felt was so   
expressed on her face that it made him hurt inside.  
  
"It's because you don't like me. You don't like me, what I   
stand for, or what I could be for you. And it   
hurts…because I care for you, even if you don't care for   
me at all." She lifted a hand to gently caress his face, but   
it fell back to her side as quickly as it had lifted. "You're   
as cold and as hard as I thought you would be the first   
time I met you. And stupidly, I thought that I could   
change how you were…but you wouldn't let me. Instead,   
you chose to pick on me…as if it were all a little game to   
you, which I know it is." Her face flushed with   
embarrassment and deep anger. "And then…what you   
said at the Crown today…Motoki…Who knows what he   
thinks about me now?"  
  
Mamoru's hands involuntarily clenched.  
  
"He must think that I'm some silly little girl with a crush   
on him." Her eyes flared with rage. "How could you say   
that to him? To tell him that I was in love with him, and   
that the only reason why I went to the Crown was to see   
him?"  
  
He shrugged. "Because it's true."  
  
'Oh, the irony,' she thought. 'The reason why I went was   
to see…you.'  
  
She shook her head, the sunlight capturing her innocence.   
"You're so wrong, Mamoru…and my god, I pity you."  
  
~ What can I do   
To get me to you ~  
  
He didn't know why he did it…but his hand, as if it had a   
will of its own, suddenly lashed out and struck the side of   
her face.  
  
She lifted her head back to him, her hand slowly raising to   
her face to ease the pain of the brief but forceful hit.   
Instead of hitting him back or even yelling at him, as he   
had expected her to do- wanted her to do- she bent down   
and reached for her long-forgotten briefcase. Taking out a   
notebook and a pen, she wrote down something with deft   
movement. Standing back up, she took his hand and   
pressed the paper into it.  
  
"I pity you, Mamoru…" Usagi's face turned away and he   
saw how forceful the slap had been, the redness marring   
the white beauty of her skin. "But…it doesn't stop me   
from feeling…. from feeling these strong emotions that   
are for you…only for you."  
  
Before he could say anything or call her back, she had   
picked up her briefcase and ran away.  
  
He looked at the paper in his hands.  
  
~ I had your number quite some time ago  
Back when we were young  
But I had to grow ~  
  
Usagi's phone number, written in black ink, stared back at   
him.  
  
~ Call me call me   
Let me know you are there ~  
  
**  
  
~ Call me call me   
I wanna know you still care ~   
  
A few weeks passed and every day, Usagi and Mamoru   
managed to wade in and out of each other's lives. Their   
friends watched from what was once the war's sideline,   
afraid to say anything to either of them.  
  
Mamoru walked home, a sigh of relief escaping his parted   
lips when he shut his apartment door and locked it.   
Another day of avoiding Usagi had been successfully   
completed.  
  
But then, why did he feel so empty inside?  
  
~ What can I do   
To get me to you ~  
  
She gazed restlessly out the window, her thin frame   
rocking gently back and forth.   
  
~ Come on now won't you ease my mind ~   
  
'Call me…' she lifted her face to the sun, hoping its   
warmth would ease the pain she felt inside. 'Please…call   
me…let me know you care.'  
  
~ Reasons for me to find you, peace of mind ~  
  
Many hours later, he lifted the phone with shaking   
fingers. From his memory, he dialed the numbers that had   
been written for him.  
  
~ Come on now, won't you ease my mind ~  
  
Ring…  
  
~ Reasons for me to find you, peace of mind ~  
  
Ring…  
  
~ Reasons for me to live my life, ease my mind ~  
  
Ring…  
  
~ Reasons for me to know you, peace of mind ~  
  
"Hello?"   
  
~ What can I do   
To get me to you ~  
  
The tension from his body eased, sliding away and into   
the velvety night.  
  
"Hello, Usagi."  
  
On her end of the line, she smiled beautifully.  
  
"Mamoru…I'm so glad you called."  
--  
  
  
[chants] E-mail...e-mail... 


End file.
